Looking Back to Move Forward

Throughout last week, I was stressed out beyond my worst nightmare. My dream job at Kids Foot Locker wasn't so fun anymore. The assignments and tests tightened their grips around my neck. I was one breath away from passing out.

I was frightened. 

I lost  my spirit. 

I lost all sense of joy. 

I asked myself, why can't I just give up?

During a conversation with my friend, she reminded me about one of the most things in life.

Sometimes we need to look back to move forward. 

So I began to look back at my life til' as far as I can remember. I pictured the times where I still lived in Vietnam. During these years, my family had nothing. We were beyond poor. At times if we were lucky we would have all shared a big bowl of white rice. And if we weren't, we'll have a piece of bread for a meal. My sister and I would eat it all without thinking about our parents. One time I asked my mother, "Mom, why didn't you eat any of the bread with us?" As she ran her fingers through my hair, she looked down at me and said,

 "Son, I am a grown-up. We don't need to eat." As soon as she said that, I told her I never wanted to grow up ever. I just loved eating so much!

Only til years later, I understand why my parents did what they did for us. They starved themselves countless times so I wouldn't.

So she went on and told me how one day, she'll cook for me the biggest meals every single day. I screamed with excitement.

She eventually kept her promise to cook for me all the food I could eat. Sadly, during the last few years I was almost never home to eat because I was always with my friends. I always came home after midnight. But she continued to cook for me everyday.

In life, I believe at times I lose my motivation because my focus on my goals becomes a blur. For the majority of my life, my goal was to make my parents proud. I worked towards this goal by getting good grades in high school so I can go to college. I then planned, I would go to college so I can further myself so I can build a strong career so they won't have to work ever again.

My plan went all wrong. I unknowingly refocused my goals from my parents to myself. It was a lot easier to give up on myself than to give up on my parents. It was easier to say, I don't care about myself rather than to say I don't care about my parents.

So my friends, when you are struggling to move forward, first try looking back.

Until next time.

Yours Truly,
Jason :D